this is for alpha

so alpha wants me to update this blog. so i am. i spend more time at myspace.com/bnakedlady though--feel free to visit there if you would like to.

http://www.kloggy.com/photo/bs01.gif

Revlon Run/Walk Fundraiser--Please help!

On May 6th, I will be participating in the 9th Annual New York Revlon Run/Walk For Women in honor of my Aunt and for the memory of my mother in law. I am hoping to help the fight against women's cancers by raising money through pledges and donations.I would like to invite you to click on the link below to visit my personal page and make a donation. Your tax-deductible contribution will help fund important research into the causes of and cures for women's cancers. In addition, selected programs of excellence that promote prevention, education and support services will also benefit from funds raised through this event.Thank you for your support in the fight against women's cancers.The personal donation page for Kelli Maass can be found at https://www.revlonrunwalk.com/ny/secure/MyWebPage.cfm?pID=321729
Please visit my page and leave a donation!
Kelli

sorry for not writing

geez, it's been awhile--not like anyone ever really reads this anyway! (hey, i have self-esteem issues--i gotta get down on myself sometimes!).

lately, i have been addicted to myspace--which is also why i haven't posted anything over here. and this post will mainly consist of an article that i copied from another place. it is about text messaging (something else i am addicted to).

my friend, Ed, went to Asia this past summer. he said i would have loved it (i have already been there, but not to the cities. i was in the rural areas of Vietnam teaching English when I was 19), EVERYONE there text messages!! this article explains why--among explaining some other stuff. Enjoy!

____________________________________________________________________

The Pleasures of the Text
By CHARLES McGRATH
Published: January 22, 2006


There used to be an ad on subway cars, next to the ones for bail bondsmen and hemorrhoid creams, that said: "if u cn rd ths u cn gt a gd job & mo pa." The ad was promoting a kind of stenography training that is now extinct, presumably. Who uses stenographers anymore? But the notion that there might be value in easily understood shorthand has proved to be prescient. If u cn rd these days, and, just as important, if your thumbs are nimble enough so that u cn als snd, you can conduct your entire emotional life just by transmitting and receiving messages on the screen of your cellphone. You can flirt there, arrange a date, break up and - in Malaysia at least - even get a divorce.


Shorthand contractions, along with letter-number homophones ("gr8" and "2moro," for example), emoticons (like the tiresome colon-and-parenthesis smiley face) and acronyms (like the ubiquitous "lol," for "laughing out loud"), constitute the language of text-messaging - or txt msg, to use the term that txt msgrs prefer. Text-messaging is a refinement of computer instant-messaging, which came into vogue five or six years ago. But because the typical cellphone screen can accommodate no more than 160 characters, and because the phone touchpad is far less versatile than the computer keyboard, text-messaging puts an even greater premium on concision. Here, for example, is a text-message version of "Paradise Lost" disseminated by some scholars in England: "Devl kikd outa hevn coz jelus of jesus&strts war. pd'off wiv god so corupts man (md by god) wiv apel. devl stays serpnt 4hole life&man ruind. Woe un2mnkind."

As such messages go, that one is fairly straightforward and unadorned. There is also an entire code book of acronyms and abbreviations, ranging from CWOT (complete waste of time) to DLTBBB (don't let the bedbugs bite). And emoticonography has progressed way beyond the smiley-face stage, and now includes hieroglyphics to indicate drooling, for example ( :-) . . . ), as well as secrecy ( :X), Hitler ( /.#( ) and the rose (@{rcub};-- ). Keep these in mind; we'll need them later.


As with any language, efficiency isn't everything. There's also the issue of style. Among inventive users, and younger ones especially, text-messaging has taken on many of the characteristics of hip-hop, with so much of which it conveniently overlaps - in the substitution of "z" for "s," for example, "a," for "er" and "d" for "th." Like hip-hop, text-messaging is what the scholars call "performative"; it's writing that aspires to the condition of speech. And sometimes when it makes abundant use of emoticons, it strives not for clarity so much as a kind of rebus-like cleverness, in which showing off is part of the point. A text-message version of "Paradise Lost" - or of the prologue, anyway - that tries for a little more shnizzle might go like this: "Sing hvnly mewz dat on d :X mtntp inspyrd dat shephrd hu 1st tot d chozn seed in d begnin hw d hvn n erth @{rcub};-- outa chaos."

Not that there is much call for Miltonic messaging these days. To use the scholarly jargon again, text-messaging is "lateral" rather than "penetrative," and the medium encourages blandness and even mindlessness. On the Internet there are several Web sites that function as virtual Hallmark stores and offer ready-made text messages of breathtaking banality. There are even ready-made Dear John letters, enabling you to dump someone without actually speaking to him or her. Far from being considered rude, in Britain this has proved to be a particularly popular way of ending a relationship - a little more thoughtful than leaving an e-mail message but not nearly as messy as breaking up in person - and it's also catching on over here.
Compared with the rest of the world, Americans are actually laggards when it comes to text-messaging. This is partly for technical reasons. Because we don't have a single, national phone company, there are several competing and incompatible wireless technologies in use, and at the same time actual voice calls are far cheaper here than in most places, so there is less incentive for texting. But in many developing countries, mobile-phone technology has so far outstripped land-line availability that cellphones are the preferred, and sometimes the only, means of communication, and text messages are cheaper than voice ones. The most avid text-messagers are clustered in Southeast Asia, particularly in Singapore and the Philippines.


There are also cultural reasons for the spread of text-messaging elsewhere. The Chinese language is particularly well-suited to the telephone keypad, because in Mandarin the names of the numbers are also close to the sounds of certain words; to say "I love you," for example, all you have to do is press 520. (For "drop dead," it's 748.) In China, moreover, many people believe that to leave voice mail is rude, and it's a loss of face to make a call to someone important and have it answered by an underling. Text messages preserve everyone's dignity by eliminating the human voice.


This may be the universal attraction of text-messaging, in fact: it's a kind of avoidance mechanism that preserves the feeling of communication - the immediacy - without, for the most part, the burden of actual intimacy or substance. The great majority of text messages are of the "Hey, how are you, whassup?" variety, and they're sent sometimes when messenger and recipient are within speaking distance of each other - across classrooms, say, or from one row of a stadium to another. They're little electronic waves and nods that, just like real waves and nods, aren't meant to do much more than establish a connection - or disconnection, as the case may be - without getting into specifics.


"We're all wired together" is the collective message, and we'll signal again in a couple of minutes, not to say anything, probably, but just to make sure the lines are still working. The most depressing thing about the communications revolution is that when at last we have succeeded in making it possible for anyone to reach anyone else anywhere and at any time, it turns out that we really don't have much we want to say.

PLEASE watch this--it is the funniest thing i have seen in a long long time!

Lazy Sunday Rap

dang, myspace people are annoying

i am gettin' tired of all these myspacers pestering me to get my account set up---so i am trying to make it happen. check out the progress:



Check me out!

this is freaky awesome!!

You have GOT to check this out, people!!!


found this site courtesy of Nicole at

You entered: 11/1/1976
Your date of conception was on or about 9 February 1976 which was a Monday.

You were born on a Monday
under the astrological sign Scorpio.
Your Life path number is 8.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2443083.5.
The golden number for 1976 is 1.
The epact number for 1976 is -1.
The year 1976 was a leap year.

As of 12/9/2005 12:00:11 PM EST
You are 29 years old.
You are 349 months old.
You are 1,518 weeks old.
You are 10,630 days old.
You are 255,132 hours old.
You are 15,307,920 minutes old.
You are 918,475,211 seconds old.
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 4.16046966731898 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)



There are 327 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 30 candles

Those 30 candles produce 30 BTUs,
or 7,560 calories of heat (that's only 7.5600 food Calories!) .
You can boil 3.43 US ounces of water with that many candles.


In 1976 there were approximately 3.1 million births in the US.
In 1976 the US population was approximately 203,302,031 people, 57.4 persons per square mile.
In 1976 in the US there were approximately 2,152,662 marriages (10.1%) and 1,036,000 divorces (4.9%)
In 1976 in the US there were approximately 1,921,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)


Your birthstone is Citrine
The Mystical properties of Citrine

Citrine is said to help one connect with Spirit.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Yellow Topaz, Pearl, Diamond

Your birth tree is

Walnut Tree, the Passion
Unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egoistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromises.



There are 16 days till Christmas 2005!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waxing gibbous.

Give thanks

Just some of the things i am thankful for this Thanksgiving day 2005

my beautiful and clean home
my imperfect, but oh so wonderful, husband
my true friends
my niece, Isabel, who can now say my name!!
my good health and the good health of my family
Johnny Bell home safe from Iraq
being blessed with a terrific extended family
dumb catch phrases with friends (Zatarans, Oh, Maary)
twisted teas
knowing my mother in law is in heaven watching out for us
my career--which i am happy at again
shopping at Woodbury Commons
the yummy tastes & smells of thanksgiving
the oust fan (that thing is awesome!)


i may add some more later.

To those that I know and love and to those that i don't know but still love:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!